We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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