The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
