I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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