The maid of honor just puked.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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