I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
