He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
