Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
