I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Panties = found
Randomize
