could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
