What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize