they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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