sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Terrible idea I love it
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
