A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
