Your tits are I can't wait for
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
