a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
