me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
