i always forget guys have bellybuttons
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
