My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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