Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
