Whod you bang
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
