you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
