playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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