you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
