i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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