I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
