you mean i was at the winter classic?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
