I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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