i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
