she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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