Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
