I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
