Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
