btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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