Im at strip club and am horny
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
