Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
