wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
They took my balls.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
