This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Congratulations! We have a period
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