I wannas sexs uuuuu
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
