btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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