Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
