By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
