im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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