I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he puts the penis in happiness.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
