There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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