So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
