Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
