How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
