You're a womanizer and a bitch.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
