I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize