Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
how does that bad decision feel?
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