dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
