Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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