hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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