I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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