I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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