Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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