Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
