at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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