In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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