I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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