If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize