we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
