My hand turned me down
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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