I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think I died a long time ago.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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