Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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