i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
