She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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