I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
