I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize