he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
