yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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