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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does

  (513): View more from Ohio

  i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play

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• (813): View more from Florida

  either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i realized i waste a lot of time

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?

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