Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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