I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
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