make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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